The development of SpaceX Starship is privately funded through Starlink.
Total revenue that SpaceX will receive from NASA this year is ~$1B out of ~$15B, according to Elon Musk. NASA is paying SpaceX for astronaut & cargo transport to the ISS, launching research satellites, and some work for returning to the Moon. All of these contracts were won in competitive bids, not donated to SpaceX!
If it weren't for SpaceX, the US government would either be paying a lot more for other companies to achieve the goals, or in some cases such as astronaut transport, have no other means of safely getting the job done.
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